Dear people,

The Pygmy Giant have been kind enough to post a story I have written on their website. The website has a 'comments' feature, where you can leave feedback or general thoughts at the bottom of the story.

One commenter has already said, "This is haunting in its self-centredness and emptiness."

A friend of mine, who read the story previously, told me that it was both "funny and crushing."

Do you agree with these views?

It is quite short and should not take you too long to read. If you are too busy reading other things you can copy and paste it into something like text edit and use the 'speech' function (if you have a mac)(I often do this when editing) or otherwise maybe there are similar online programmes which will enable you to have the story read to you. This could also be helpful if you are blind.

If you cannot be bothered with those options but would still like to have the story read to you email me your number and I will phone you and recite the story to you over the phone. If interest is high, I will just make a video as my mobile contract is poor and I do not get many minutes for my tariff.

My left eye is twitching, a sign that it is possibly time to go to sleep.

Many thanks,

waiting all day for my new phone to arrive
the floor in my room is wooden
and marked like my face
by the bottom of my chair

I look at it thinking
my landlady will be pissed
as she plans to sell the house
next summer

I tell myself to buy
a second hand persian rug

keep on going to the living room window and looking at people who are not delivery men
I swam six hundred
meters in a former
school swimming pool
that is now open to the public

the lifeguard was on at the desk
when I walked in at 7.30am
I gave him £3.50
he said alright geez
and told me where to put my shoes

a low buzzing noise, it is not for me
you will tell me you lost your phone
as the reason you have not been in
contact with me for over three days now

it was in your bedroom somewhere
are these the things you mean when
you tell me you feel like you cannot
be honest with me

I assumed it was more serious than that

no signal indoors
the last two parties I have been to
I have left early

I like going to the cinema alone
as having to look straight forward
while sitting side by side seems like
a poor social event

sometimes I think my intelligence
and grasp of basic
philosophical theories
is so weak and that I am so incapable of achieving anything

I am fully versed in the abbreviations of msn messenger emoticons

How much do you love the place you live?

Dear people,

I live on the south-east coast of England. I have often thought about living in a different country or travelling abroad for long periods of time. Sometimes I go on three-hour long walks that don't really go anywhere. I walk and I breath and it feels like the air inside my lungs is freezing and expanding and all the bronchioles are stretching outward. Today I walked through a field and 'S.O.S' by Abba started playing in the distance, but very loudly. It was hard to tell exactly where it was coming from. If someone else was there I would have looked at them, I think we would have looked at each other simultaneously and we would have smiled and laughed.

Have you nearly done all your Xmas shopping? Is there anything you'd like for Xmas or would you rather have money? Are we still on for next Saturday? Was it Nietzsche that said the most profound thoughts come whilst walking?

Many thanks,