Translated Titles

the time machine in the jacuzzi (russia)
a crazy crazy jacuzzi (greece)
jacuzzi past (estonia)
teleported in adolescence (romania)
a crazy trip to the past (argentina)
a blast from the past (italy)
hot tub - back in the 80's (germany)
very hot tub (france (dvd title))
the hangover (brazil)

books i've read recently

NOW by Gabriel Josipovici
Think this was about 95% dialogue and there seemed to be a fair amount of characters so it became confusing at times as to who was who. Really enjoyed reading it though. Got it out from the library. Want to read more novels by him.

THE LESSONS OF MODERNISM by Gabriel Josipovici
Still kind of reading this. Collection of essays. Seems to reaffirm a lot of beliefs I have about "art", I guess.

SIX MORAL TALES by Eric Rohmer
Written as short stories before they were eventually made in to films. Some are a little different from the film versions. Reminds me of Nouveau Roman-style, maybe. Makes me want to write a book of several short stories all with the same basic plot.

GROW UP by Ben Brooks
3255 (iphone) page coming-of-age epic. Really enjoyable book. Made me think of being in sixth form, but not really in a nostalgic way. Made me laugh out loud a lot. A lot more straight-forward (and at times laconic) than Fences or TKSN, but still has some great poetic lines. There's also an 'on-drugs' 'stream-of-consciousness' bit which didn't make me cringe at all and I actually thought was really good. That's probably a first ever. Looking forward to getting the real version and giving it to people I know. Looking forward to seeing what other people think of it.

LITTLE HANDS CLAPPING by Dan Rhodes
I'm about 2/3rds the way through. Seems to be a lot of character developing back-stories for the first third of the book. Looking forward to seeing how it comes together. I feel like I haven't read something like this in a long time as most of the contemporary stuff I read is by people on the internet. Seems refreshing for me. Ben sent it to me because he is nice.

I'm pretty sure our oven is the same temperature whatever

She walks down the stairs and stops midway. She stoops for a moment, in front of the drop in the ceiling, even though she is not tall enough to have to duck for it. Her hair is black and wiry, but it would be hard to mistake the black wire coming from her ears for hair. She finishes walking down the stairs and goes to the fridge, opening it with the same hand that holds an mp3 player. She takes out two plastic bowls – one with rice, the other with chilli – and places them on the kitchen table, eyes on them all the time. She shuts the fridge door and goes back up the stairs managing to never make eye contact with me.

Some notes

1. From a distance, a short distance, the mound looks archaic. I want to pray to it. I eat my lunch there and pray to god for an avocado.

2. The sun reflects off the dried gravel as I shield my eyes by looking at the floor. Woodchip and broken glass. Grass. The sea would be invisible if it weren’t for the land.

3. Across the coast I can see the line where the shade meets the sun. I watch it. I watch it waiting for it to bathe me in warmth.

I haven't written a blog post in a while.

Somethings I like on the internet.

I like that most of Dischord Record's back catalogue is now on Spotify.

I like that my friend Sarah Reid has a blog of her writing. I wish all my friends had blogs.

I like that I can listen to this song repeatedly.

I like DJ Berndt, inventor of the internet.

Also, I read this a while ago and remember thinking, Why haven't I gotten around to reading Oikos yet?

i watched as sudden flames
tore through a novel i had
spent ten million minutes
composing

what was the use? what was the use!

she only ever let slip
the truth involuntarily
as a sudden collision
took place in her

- Marcel Proust
"The Prisoner"

subtitles:
man: where's the coffee?
woman: we're all out.

would anyone like a copy of Granta 113? I have two spare copies for some reason. First come, first served. GONE!!!!

The Way Cafegoers Are

Since I hadn't talked to anybody for quite some time
I had nothing against exchanging a few words
however briefly
with someone or other

I thought and thought about how it could be done
but the more I studied the faces around me the more difficult it appeared
with all those eyes that seemed not to see:
the world has certainly become depressing

- Kjell Askildsen
"Thomas F's Last Notes for the General Public"

"I just want to make a perfect tray of tofu"

The best way I have found to cook tofu is by frying them in a lot of oil, separately/on their own.
It's practically deep-frying them and probably negates any of the beneficial health properties they might at one point have held.
This technique also works well, to a reasonable degree, with aubergine.

The Wisest Course

She lit an oil-lamp
You have no current? I said
No, she said, but I have running water and gas
Ha, I said, you have gas
She began to undress

- Samuel Beckett
"First Love"

i am beginning to realise how little i understand

i am beginning to realise how little
i understand about science
to rectify this
i have started listening to
anatomy and physiology podcasts
and watching youtube videos
searching words like 'phagocytosis'

i have several powerpoint presentations
on my usb memory stick
but all of the time spent trying
to understand more about science
results only in being able to
recall words like 'phagocytosis'

maybe tomorrow i will buy
some A3 paper and colour pens
so that i can explain to myself
exactly what a phagocyte is/does

if i had a tumblr or something

When Cherries are in season
they cost like
two euros a kilo or something
in Spain

there's this song i think you'd like although i don't know if you'd actually like it because the only reason why i think you'd like it is that it reminds me of you and i don't know what to do about this

i like the way you
(when sitting opposite me)
chew with your whole mouth

your jaw moves independently;
your eye-lids fall with pleasure
as you eat your food

i like the way you
are persistent when something
won't stay on your cutlery

patting it down with the side
of the knife repeatedly, i could count
but i could not keep a straight face

Papa Topo

Thinking about turning this blog into a Papa Topo Fan-site.

Dear people,

The Pygmy Giant have been kind enough to post a story I have written on their website. The website has a 'comments' feature, where you can leave feedback or general thoughts at the bottom of the story.

One commenter has already said, "This is haunting in its self-centredness and emptiness."

A friend of mine, who read the story previously, told me that it was both "funny and crushing."

Do you agree with these views?

It is quite short and should not take you too long to read. If you are too busy reading other things you can copy and paste it into something like text edit and use the 'speech' function (if you have a mac)(I often do this when editing) or otherwise maybe there are similar online programmes which will enable you to have the story read to you. This could also be helpful if you are blind.

If you cannot be bothered with those options but would still like to have the story read to you email me your number and I will phone you and recite the story to you over the phone. If interest is high, I will just make a video as my mobile contract is poor and I do not get many minutes for my tariff.

My left eye is twitching, a sign that it is possibly time to go to sleep.

Many thanks,

waiting all day for my new phone to arrive
the floor in my room is wooden
and marked like my face
by the bottom of my chair

I look at it thinking
my landlady will be pissed
as she plans to sell the house
next summer

I tell myself to buy
a second hand persian rug

keep on going to the living room window and looking at people who are not delivery men
I swam six hundred
meters in a former
school swimming pool
that is now open to the public

the lifeguard was on at the desk
when I walked in at 7.30am
I gave him £3.50
he said alright geez
and told me where to put my shoes

a low buzzing noise, it is not for me
you will tell me you lost your phone
as the reason you have not been in
contact with me for over three days now

it was in your bedroom somewhere
are these the things you mean when
you tell me you feel like you cannot
be honest with me

I assumed it was more serious than that

no signal indoors
the last two parties I have been to
I have left early

I like going to the cinema alone
as having to look straight forward
while sitting side by side seems like
a poor social event

sometimes I think my intelligence
and grasp of basic
philosophical theories
is so weak and that I am so incapable of achieving anything

I am fully versed in the abbreviations of msn messenger emoticons

How much do you love the place you live?

Dear people,

I live on the south-east coast of England. I have often thought about living in a different country or travelling abroad for long periods of time. Sometimes I go on three-hour long walks that don't really go anywhere. I walk and I breath and it feels like the air inside my lungs is freezing and expanding and all the bronchioles are stretching outward. Today I walked through a field and 'S.O.S' by Abba started playing in the distance, but very loudly. It was hard to tell exactly where it was coming from. If someone else was there I would have looked at them, I think we would have looked at each other simultaneously and we would have smiled and laughed.

Have you nearly done all your Xmas shopping? Is there anything you'd like for Xmas or would you rather have money? Are we still on for next Saturday? Was it Nietzsche that said the most profound thoughts come whilst walking?

Many thanks,